Expectations, Assumptions, and the Evolution of Relationships

Sometimes relationships change, the dynamics change and not everyone is in agreement as to who is willing to participate or not.

Example of as we get older relationship with parents

Relationship with Sensei

Some things we want to remember:

Sometimes people do not have the capacity to go deep with us

We all have different expectations of each other and how we think the other should act.
This clouds up our vision and leaves us disappointed.

4 agreements:

We make assumptions that people just know: My friend made an assumption that I should just pick up on her feelings and know that even when she says she’s ok that she’s not.
I made the assumption that she would communicate her needs.

I made the assumption today that my husband would leave the door unlocked for the house keeper.
He assumed I would remind him.
I take accountability for that because I have in the past.

So to bring this back around, when we change and expect our friends  to change with us, sometimes they won’t. On the other hand, they don’t understand us any more and it can be upsetting to them.

Imagine that someone has been acting a certain way, with certain boundaries, and reactions for some time, then all of a sudden they change. We take it personally many times and that’s why I think we get upset.

Why are they acting this way toward me? Well, it’s not about you love, they act that way because of them.

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